I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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