I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
