dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
