is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
