i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The Olympian is in my bed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
