i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
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she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
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And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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