She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize