Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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