Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
