HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
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I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
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If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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