I am in a vortex of obligation.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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