omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize