Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
