Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
