..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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