I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
