ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I need moral support for this bender
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
