Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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