kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I am one with the molecules
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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