I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
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I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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