We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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