Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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