you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
two words...techno handjob
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
