I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
