So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize