i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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