Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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