just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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