to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.