Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.

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(231): i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am. http://tfl.nu/2854

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(847): View more from Illinois

he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.

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(847): he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants. (1-847): you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him. http://tfl.nu/yg4d

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(970): View more from Colorado

sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.

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(970): sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan. http://tfl.nu/zri3

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(407): View more from Florida

you definitely have a few illegitimate kids

(1-407): View more from Florida

probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine

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(407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids (1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine http://tfl.nu/6feu

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(630): View more from Illinois

He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.

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(630): He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins. http://tfl.nu/5ao1

Replies (23) Good night (11427) Bad night (827)
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(513): View more from Ohio

literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.

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(513): literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night. http://tfl.nu/en91

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.

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(603): She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying. http://tfl.nu/6631

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(928): View more from Arizona

im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was

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(928): im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was http://tfl.nu/g5u7

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(970): View more from Colorado

She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.

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(970): She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech. http://tfl.nu/63c3

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(630): View more from Illinois

He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?

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(630): He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling? http://tfl.nu/57n3

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(804): View more from Virginia

Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.

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(804): Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me. http://tfl.nu/bct9

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(419): View more from Ohio

I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.

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(419): I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one. http://tfl.nu/6e70

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(713): View more from Texas

Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.

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(713): Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away. http://tfl.nu/vae8

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now

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(704): I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now http://tfl.nu/20zt

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(417): View more from Missouri

After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing

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(417): After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing http://tfl.nu/he4t

Replies (11) Good night (970) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt

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