I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".