He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
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she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
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Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.