I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.