When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
