I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Your tits are I can't wait for
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
