so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
