im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
