I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize