when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
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