weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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