even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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