Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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