google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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