I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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