Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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