I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
