So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.