How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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