looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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