How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
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I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
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Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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