i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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