Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
and you fell through a lawn chair
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
