I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
