the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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