My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
