so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
