I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
