he wants to bone in the snuggie
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
