This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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