Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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