She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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